Choosing a Mate

One of the most important and serious choices we make in life is choosing the right person to marry.  In Proverbs 18:22, it says  “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtained  favor of the Lord.”  The traditional interpretation of that verse is that a man is to go out, search for and look for a woman then marry her, and now he has  found a good thing that God favors.  That is the wrong interpretation.  I had the good pleasure of speaking at a men’s conference and I gave a talk on this very verse in the Bible.  We all know that God speaks to both men and women about who to marry, not just the man.  Also, when we allow our on thinking and knowledge to take place in mate selection that it is sometimes not a good thing and God had nothing to do with our choosing.  At the men’s conference, I focused on the word “findeth.”   Upon searching the scripture, this word is interesting and it has 3 different meanings used in the Bible.  One meaning of the word findeth is go search or look for something specifically.   You went out looking for a wife or husband.  A second meaning of the word findeth is to happened upon (like finding a $10 bill on the ground), you were not looking or searching for the money.  You just discovered it.  You happened upon him/her and failed in love. To make a long story short, the word “findeth” in the scripture means  reveal knowledge or revelation knowledge.  It is God revealing and speaking to you on who to marry.  Let’s face it, none of us are smart enough to know who is good or a right fit because we are only human and we are not all knowing.  God is.  In choosing a mate, I believe you should let your request be known to God (tell Him you want to marry), spend time getting closer to God (studying His Word, talking to Him, and praying), and ask Him to send you a mate.  When God is intimately involved with your mate selection.  You will have a good thing.

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  • Patrick Hendon says:

    I love this perspective concerning finding a mate. I have known people, male and female who went out looking for a mate like they were on a mission. God will prepare the perfect mate for you. The trick is to be ready when he chooses for your paths to cross.

  • Andrea Lewis says:

    On June 9, 2014 my husband and I celebrated our thirtieth anniversary. Our marriage has had its fair share of challenges and that’s to be expected. We agreed early in our relationship to use the Bible to solve issues as they occurred. I agree with the definitions of “findeth” when searching for the right mate. There are two articles I reflect on a lot because I want to be happy with my husband and him to be happy with me. The first article is entitled “How can marriage be happy?” This article was based on Colossians 3:8-10, 12-14 outlining the qualities and attitudes that make a marriage happy and those that destroy a marriage. It also teaches communication skills that enhance happiness in marriage. The other article is entitled “What makes a marriage last?” It states that married couples must love each other to stay together. According to 1 John 4:7, 8, 19 we have the perfect example of self-sacrificing love.
    I had the opportunity to read the book entitled “The Five Love Languages” and a couple of Dave Ramsey’s books about finances.

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